some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Randomize
