So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
