My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
