Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Randomize
