And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
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