Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
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