i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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