His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
