I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize