I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Randomize
