Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
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