Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize