OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
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