Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
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