i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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