I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
Randomize
