let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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