Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
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