My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
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