i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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