I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
I think people are normalizing furries
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
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