david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
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