just tell him i said nine months
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
