is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
