come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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