Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize
