I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Randomize
