Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
