I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize
