I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
