I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Randomize