I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
