just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
