Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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