Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Randomize
