Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Randomize
