If i could tip my vagina, i would.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Randomize
