was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
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