I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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