? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Randomize
