love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
