stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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