You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Drunk walkin through police station. America
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Your cock deserves a montage
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Randomize
