do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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