i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
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