we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
Randomize
