she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize
