You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
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