"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
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