Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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