please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
Randomize
