We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
