let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
