spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
