just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize
