strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Randomize
