He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize