hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Randomize
