She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
i think my cat just said my name.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Randomize