anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
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