I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
