Porn is love you can see.
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
