She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize
