Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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