PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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