I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
you win again, gameday.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
Randomize
