i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
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