he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
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